TOU T'lK KIVO-TON OAZKTTB. nltfy 0* the bid* of tfte ffouuting flow-11 broad Aetf ^rafy faj 11 J*f*. Vii.fs If vou thifik thr following daft at Iht fuUi-r.e, written by a very pcacea bk Diviiu-. as hiit name indicates, the R;v. Mr. Simon OlJvebranoH, will af feu! vovit rtaders more amufement and ihftrodkni that* all the mappings bick- enn^, bumgs anil backbiting* of poor] Gonrlay, pray mfcrt it in ymtf next pa-1 per,afld oblige one of vour reader*. F. P. A!!o\i me ;n say thai you ha\ehren:immi£M thr lirsi correpier of tr»e *ltH|iieitCe : V>U h;;ve -ui)*». utc<t, indeed a dftd *>l mocker> of ii. while iliv rnt' vHliUitwrei? periston?, tkn cliH&twt and c'ta te rt\l* oforattm i« ncu *nek.»M mil u itlt DintlH rousoroAin*nt ; tail recommends K&ftif'by iff* own natural Ucftuty* PEm»»Nru*. in the cocrfe of the^e papers* f<»me bain-* have been taken to difcountenar.ee that fa lie refinement to which the pret¬ erit a^e is tending) and towards which every a<re and nation inclines at ? cer¬ tain period of its growth. But it is not eniJHffll to expo'e that mock fenfibility of manners which has borne away the rewards of genuine filing—of that fccl- Ji'g which is too dignified To be loqua¬ cious. There h alfo a mock fcnlibility] In the writings of fome men, that de- feives all the ridicule which can be thrown upon it, as h falfifies the natu¬ ral tones of virtue, and debauches our reli(h of the fublfme in morals. I have before remarked the alliance which fob- fills between talle and morality; the truth re, that the one is rarely corrup¬ ted, without fome depravation of the o- ther. He who ingrafts upon his (lock of virtue folefcifms in talte, and diflort- ed ideas of elegance and beauty, howev C* uonjrht and pure his theory may be, will hardly efcape continual abfurdity in IS* piaftice and deportment. There is B decorum in truth, and in every thing in which truth is concerned, that de¬ mands- a certain feverity of drefs, and' simplicity of ornament ; and virtue, me-1 thinks, has an honed lort of language in j which (he love* to ncprefn heifelf, and. which, though by no means preciufive of elegance, diidains th; t gaudmefd of- phrafe and imagnry which may be ne CLiHtry to meaner fubjeft Religion and virtue are not always alfilled by their bnfieft fi'ends ; and there is an officiouf- nefs in fome of their advocates which tiiJAppflittt* their pnfpnfes, and biiugs uq honour to the cauli ; of this nomher arc thofe who arc forever introducing their favoute themes, however little they harmonize with the luljc£ts they are J Upon ; or, when their principal concern is with thc-fe (acred topics, are perpetu¬ ally degrading them with low allufioni and comparifuifl, and laying under con¬ tribution to them the whole of the natu¬ ral wot Id in a (train of fyrnbolical enthu- fiifm At the head of thefe raving Phil' fophers, is the author of certain meditations among the tombs and gar¬ dens, one who could find a refemblance Between religion and a radifh, or draw the fire of devotion out of cucumbers; to whom every thorn wan the thorn of Olaftenbury, and every bufh contained 2 divinity ; who could make up the fen Commandments into a nofegay f,r the bofom, and fqueefc morality for a d-7en paged out oi a g^cen goofeberry. " I ihill fuppofe this gentleman, after a vifit to Covent-Garden market, detail¬ ing, in a letter to a lady, the rtflc&ionB which occurred to him on f© moving an qccafion. Cv Mjf Dear Madam* <fc After following my melancholy march among the silent dead, and m) gfiyor progress among the garden (low¬ er*, you will not refuse me >our gen¬ tle -ochty in a moral *.?rt.!l through this instructive scene. What a deli¬ cious confusion "f tongues 1 O-ie might imagine oneVlfat the building of the Tower of Babel : but who can won- d-T, wh.*re there is so much to nourish contemplation, and to prompt the tongue, that tlits most amiable part of the creation should exalt their tones, and give a loose to those laudable fee¬ lings which the objects before them in¬ spire ? What a rich and varied repast here offers itself to the thinking mind ! In this view the luxury of t:ourt>, and l.»e appointment* of princes must yield up the palm to yon loaded Jack Ass, that aeein-i to smile significantly as he trots on with hi- vegetable burden. Approach, thou venerable beast, for in thofie symbolical baskets which grace your comely sides 1 rend important je.-eons of life, and a veritable kind of Philosophy sprouts up to my view. Jngon, my gentle friend; and let it render your burden light, to reflect thai it i- all instruction which vou car- ry. In the mean time, my thought* shall Eatable to the place whence yi_»u Set out on your morning's progress, sa¬ luting the sunrise with a bray of exul¬ tation. And why should not the kitch¬ en garden be as^reat a school of uaor- i * A |K%*iodir;il publication, enlltl d tin* [iOOk^r«n, wvilt-fl bj tin- H.--v. Wiihum Rob tit', o.*\'l iir^t n<jlih*:i'.-U i:» 17-J2. ers, or the Mfent sepulchres of the 'lead ? Or why shoultl I injure the ol- Itory, by Booming thus to doubt df to attractions? If the tomb and the grate pre-enf uk y>lth wholesome memento* of morality and revival, may vie no* hud ;;s striking emblems of both, in thotereaiona v\ here what goes in a dead -eed, comes out a living cabbage; Shall the vegitable tribes hide their di¬ minished liead$ before the children of Flora, ^o longasfllfi mouth shall main¬ tain it- diw pre-eminence over th*1 nose ? So Ions, too, as the bean pbrti rival with its odoers the choicest es¬ sence*- of the parterre, while, on Eh*.' Other cide, the most unrelincd feeder would die of hunger amidst the richest exnl)rrances of jessamines and roses- ** I5ut let me np^re my eloquence— for either I am dupsd b) the allu-.i >n of an ent-'."i.'iastic fancy, or yon arti- ch< ke, with its hundred tongues- is rniffiog itself on its stalk, to plead th • cause of it> esculent brethren :—and even the U-vv horn and grofeling pota- toe might, on such an occasion, rise from its earthy habitation, and in a • strain of native Hibernian eloquence. confound Hie boldest orator in flu courts of Flora. And which could we selt cf, among all these various tribns, as better entitled to the honourable privilege of pleading for the rest ? For sorely we shall not, like the world¬ ling, mea>ure desert by external stan¬ dards ; we shnll not appreciate the pulp of the potatoe by the humility of the situation in which it grows, or un- der-rate the qualities of this preciou- plant because its retiring modesty ren¬ ders it nece.ssar> to digit from it cour¬ ted obscurity. Rather shall this cir- * cum-iiance convince us, if we doubted it before, of its title to our resp-.'ct. And why does it sequester iti plain, I ha I almost said clumsy form, from the Mght of man, but for the noblest pur¬ poses, viz. that when our summer friend* of the gnrden have deserted us in our need, it may bring forth its stores in the winter adversity of our tables, and endure, for the gratification i-four capricious appetites, sometimes the or¬ deal of the gridiron, sometimes the martyrdom of the faggot, and sour - times the lingering and cruel persecu¬ tion of the Salamander. M Alas, poor Potatoe ! Oh that a moreeloqucnl tongue than mine were] employed iu singing thy praises, and asserting thy claims ! But 1 will leare thee to that happy consciousness of de- terviug a reward, vhteh, to the virtu¬ ous, ever constitutes that reward itself, and per.ue my exquisite meandorings among the other sons and daughters of the *pade, my eyes watering with grat¬ itude, and my mouth with appetite, as I range through the delicious cohort of turnips, cabbages, kidney beans, radishes, bronncole-uot forgetting thee thou sacred nrtichoke of Jerusalem ! 0 how tumultously mingle in my breast emotions of delight, at the lav- ishuesswith which the culinary stores are showered around, and of self- abasement at the reflection how little worty am I of the most insignificant .stick of horse radish which at once gar¬ nishes and improves the titled loin that smokes upon my Sunday board ! like some fair one, at once beautiful and wise, that graces our dwelling while she'meliorates our minds. And as 1 throw fny glistening eye around, a sweet perplexity where to open the theme of wonder, forces adown my glowing cheek that tear which stood ripp ferits fall. My heart roves from one topic of admiration to another; and, like the humble beast in the fa¬ ble, my gratitude is iu danger of star¬ ving, from inability to choose betweeu the rival delicacies which solicit my preference. " O why will the fickle ones of this world devote themselves to the charms of variety, and pall their sensuality by the ceaseless repetition of vapid pleas¬ ures, while their garden gate stands o- peu day and night, and invite them to scenes of inexhaustible profusion and incomparable delight ! Scenes that might learn Mcthur-alah in the last year of his life, yet but beginning to investi¬ gate beauties ! In this we should do well to imitate, instead of destroying, tiie curiouscatterpillar who is now con¬ tent with wandering through the ma¬ zes of the cauliflower—and the con¬ templative Hog, who never manifests such genuine transport,as when an op¬ portunity is yielded him of revelling with inquisitive snout in the territories of Vertumnus ; while we jealously bar his researches, by inserting that envious ring in his noistrils which would far better become our own, wheu we intrude them into the con¬ cerns of our Brethren. u Oh ! how long might the eye rest unsated on the upright graces of those aspiring asparagus, that bristle up their vegetable spears, as if in defiance ul the mightiest children of the garden ? While yon crouching Cabbages, that rma o tt In sc- k How ledge t^j, prowess a;id implore their mi-rvy. Well may (ho. end of he fonm-.r Ik; ,0 |ose thoir h«»ads, the rleaili t>f the Valiant—and well may the Litter be the. C0,lMant emblem of the kulghta of th., thimble, uine of whom are r.-,|Uiied. [,v tne ro„trrnptuous a- lithnutic of ||,e vulvar, to compose an liuliv'ul.jal ti,.,,, yet, as the bee can extf*<4 a■-■'-• t- |Vom the nettle, so can et.-a.rWv find ^0nc| \„ {\ie Cabbage.— Tliif, let us Hut scott'at the dnstardli- i.t- « ••(' <iii> production, wltlu-ut at the «Tji<! time drawing a lesson of nnanim- it) !:•-:!) taa ways of this rlumerous family. fc- O Foxitfc mH Pittite, Jacobin and Aristocrat, Atheist and CJiristiaiu blush ye all nt >our emrffie* and di- vi.sions, whiloyesee Ihe Early York, the Su^arLoaf, the Battersea, and the Scotch Kalet vrith all their hostilitio- of season, cgjoar, form and flavour, growing Hide by side, and each merk- 1> tolerating th-j divinities of the oth¬ er ! Shall man a-d wife still pollute the annals of matrimony by divorces and separtioin, whilMhe pvrple bro- coli, and t!i' snouj Gauliflo^ ;r. pot* ie*s one bed ? And shall hhtury \ -.'ui her pa^e with the animo^ties tff tlu white and r#d ro«e. while the white and red Cabbie are content to wget* :Me on the -ame soil, simmer in the •»rac pot, and smoke upon the Same •abl"? " 0 philn*r*hropic root ! tnat, like some bountifnl father .>f a family, no: J content with yielding us the fruit of its.] own sound h'-art, ded-imtCa ..' posteri¬ ty to our use, in tl..a profosion oi sprouts* which it ^ipplit •> to us from its own parent stock ! O h'&W nnltkri the penurious pea. th-.f <ihii;:es u\ to j (tear open it^ bowels for it^ gicbulai treasures! while ..veil fm tnt>e we un¬ indebted to irur own indu^tr}', h\ sup- porting Its fclutjgard tendrU.Hj whichi?ls*a would sordidly creep and wither i>n the ground. So, many a pmllh;ate geuios of this world would »nfl>r his ul$ut> to moulder awaj in ind^l.^nr *. but for some solicitous friend, that wfcii sa.o- tary severity, forres it into exertion. tfc \ot le,<K har»h, nor le*- i/enefi- cial in it> a-jency, the stimulati -; cam- omil.% that, like a ri^id, yet lovin.; eouf^^ser, dastertds into the deptfea i»f our boM>nis» and compel* u» to di»-j charts thes' foul and peccant accumil¬ lations. And*** too, where, in 'n- hue of innoc »Cf, humbly shews it> head the piottspttr*l"l>i "*at l'»>s Ui |ls annual Lentm' iisil. ftlffl by Its siguil- icant ilisipifUy. points out to us the tastelessneSfcof worldly pleasures and pursuits ! Aid what are those two that suddenly Stti&e my si^ht, whose name shews them to be allied , while their shape and pt iperiier betoken irrocon- citeable contrariety ? They are French and VTindflotlieans.—Dhow pertinent¬ ly so named ? The former iu its spare form and scattered growth, aptly rep- resenting thf meagre figures and dis¬ united state, ^f the people from whom they have thtfir name, while the man¬ gled and massacred condition in which they come te our boards still more for¬ cibly typifiei the savage ferocity with which they have substituted the sword for the sceptre, " Turn your eye from the painful picture, to contemplate its like in name, as its antagonist in nature, the Windsor bed**—and admire, with me, how opposil':') the fair rotund form of its Contents represents the honest Brit¬ ish plumpne8*°f thegracious Potentate whose residence has furnished its title, while the cIM^criug manner iu which they hana fr',Tn their luvurient branch- chesadumb!a*es"ie ""^^rousness and concord of Ifer Ro>al offspring. But see whereof! *"'s side spires the Coss, and on that spreads the brown Dutch, lettices__plants that instruct us by their very uothiogues! Those very leaves that rn ,ue natural state are con¬ sidered but as provinder forswiue, O, howsweetlv* how gratefully do they salute the p^'atoe. w hen aided by the delicious provocations of the Cruet stand¬ ee jjC^ us hence collect the empti¬ ness and un"SL'rvict'a')'euess °f ^'an 'll his natural-^tale, and the high things of which he.i;\caPable* M,R1U heighten¬ ed by 'he i>rec'ous SHlu'e °f Education. Aud let the* m.v-st*c Artichoke which onc« more ;Arrests my attention, read us a lecture on human life : may I not be indulged^ m t,,e pleasing, even the Hiuciful su;PP°-silion9 that the leaves H jo, which li IS so-munilicently array¬ ed, may hat?" been deigned as em¬ blems of thf* }earS through which wc pass in our human pilgrimage, which, as each is e?*hau»ted, gradually unfold to us the cW10^6 °f mortal nnseries— those miserf"1^ nkM,iat cl»oko, cover¬ ed ovrr witP* aH'msy coat of comfort, which, nwit^^i w* vnn burn 0UI lingers in «|S**«Mnt»g to obtain ; till, at length ;,J,riT"d at the bottom, or death owr dlftcBttfea are at an end, »»idon.sttl^sb^in' grow at their feet, seem to spread a-II " liut w)liat a™bijj;uDU5 r^otisUere?! [whoff flifour /nntraaitfei to ou> j*a!- Bt^s the report made by its form to our pyps—The turnip radish. O let it warn us against the wiley foe, that cheats our credulous eves with the smooth turnip of tenderne6$, while in- wa rdly he bites us with the sharp rad¬ ish of rancour. Nor let your hypocrit- ic Onit n less admonish us of the ibsid- i.'us wretch, who can force tears front our eyes at one moment, aud at fta next annoy Ss with the foul breath of defamation ; and, to render his roach* inations still more fatal, can lay u« a- sleep while they are Morking, Au(] see loo. how those calous cucumber though ripened and fostered beneath fhecenial glass of protection, shall re- tun; the benefactions df their patron with coldness at least, if not with bit¬ terness. u And as, at the moral uses of these vegetable riches. SO let us admire at the contrivance which has accommoda¬ ted each with its appropriate form and structure, which iteouid not exchange but with advantage. How shou'd we smile to pee the encumbers, cauliflow¬ er?., hansing, like an infant with a drooping head, from the slim spires ef thr asparagus ! or the diminutive pea, which we now behold sd artfully ore- boxed in its commodious mansion. loftily scattered lik'3 the pOtatoe be¬ neath the earth j while 'he hours of the impatient cook would pass in the te* dious toil of separating the little balls from tlie clods amidst which ther .;ouId be lost ! Aiid, in return, the I nigged and hardy potatoe, transplant- fed from its subterraneous abode into the slender and silken shell ^hich WO now see so aptlv tenanted be the min¬ iature globes o! tec pea ? What room should we find for extolling the artifice of creation, if the artichoke, of which we have alrcadj admired the progres¬ sive conformation, should exhibit its parts in an inverted series? if the moist and marrowy bottom were taken from its needful assylum iu the inmost rPcesses of the plant, and laid bare to the beating hail and hlowing blasts. while th*'tough and sturdy leaves should be translated from their present char¬ acteristics! exposure, to an useless se¬ curity within ? In all these cases, would not the transposition equally f- fettd the eye of the Spectator, and the interests of each individual product ? "Thus rich, thus copious, does the page of horticulture appear, even in the fepb'e epitome of it which is ben1 exhibited. Ah ! Would we but study i: as it deserves ! would ttrc but re¬ sort as eagerly to its more refined and symbolical, as we do to its gjrofi&ci though not more substantial advanta¬ ges, we should find it speak a language: of reason and religion, that would set all the subtleties of logic, and all thv systems of ethics at defiance. Witti such a clue to guide us through the bib- vrinths of life, no process would OCcUi In the cultivation of our beds, whica would not give a lesson to our con- sciencies, while it provided a meal tor our tables. Wo should not then watera plant,without d topping at least from our minds eve, the fostering tears of trans¬ port over our growing virtues, or of re¬ pentance over our transgressions. We should not rake the stones, or root the weeds from our foul ground, witboit at the same time raking out the foul pas¬ sions with which our hearts are croak¬ ed and ovei." in-—or roll the gravel of onr walks, without adverting at the same time to the rising turbulence of our desires, which need to be pressed down by the roller of reflection. Ab¬ ove all, we should not fail to impres-. on our hearts the fragility & trausitori- ness of all sublunary things, when we consider how soon the lux ones of the Garden fade away, and eiude the most confident hopes of hunger. " O, let the ambitious man learn to despise the ladder on which he stands, while he considers that yon towering artichoke shall shortly wither on its stem, or be scalded iu the pot! O, let the lover withdraw his adoration from Chloe'seyes, when he sees the blush¬ ing apple of love droop and shrivel iu the odioui embraces of time, and the amorous pea torn from its darling stick, and sacrilic d to the voracity of man 1 O, let the Kpicure renounce his deli¬ cacies, w hile he reflects that, like yon cauliflower, he shall soon administer to the gluttony of the worm ? and the Pop hi$£SrenC6$9 while he faints at the fumes from those corrupted beans, so late the pride of vegetable fragrance ! Inaword, let all the hunters after worldly delights resign their ardour for them, as they contemplate that peri¬ od when Kings and cabbages, Popes and Peas, Sages and >allads, IJeautie^ and brocali, artichokes and Archbish¬ ops, Lords and Leeks, Princes and Parsnips, Tyrants and Turnips, Cu¬ cumbers and conquorers, shall lie in nne promiscuous heap of shapeless pu- trifactioi /' Simon Olivebrjneh being apprehen¬ sive that these false modfilti have been tou^atce^sful in corrupting tfte (&>te M &f t\\i (nifriff rainfcs i! aecessaryto n^ praise some few of bis readers, that what they have be?n reading is reallv not sublime. ra FOR THE KINNMO.V GAZETTE. ROAD MAKING. Mr. Editor in these testy times, a man must possess no small degree of courage who dares, in public, express any o. pinion which (foes not seive tocoof.tfQ the errors of nncient stupidity or IgntS nee ; for from that moment a hue and tv is raised against him as an " inno* vd'or.*' If One see any thing amivs. and suggest a remedy, though it be ere* so beneficial to the public, such is the perversity of human nature that there are always self interested individuals ready tfith open mouths to assail him with opprobions epithet-, of which the most fashionable is u Innovator?" But tho&e wh« habituate themselves to th» use of it would do well to consider itj true import. St. Paul wa* an in nova* tor* Luther and Calvin wre innova* torS- Tiie promoters 6' the glorious {{.evolution winch seated (he illustii- ons house of Br :n£Wtch on the Throne of FiUglan(l wee innovators. In short -reri oirewho has been aceesarvto a changete an innovator, whether th* change be for the bettei or norse, on* ly H'tfh this difference, that in one case it is creditable to the party, and in the other-he reverse. Obstinacy and blinds ness a regency, fwiu brothers, of which th"i "discriminate use of this epithet it a term of reproach, i« one conspicuous proof among hundreds ; for to be an innovator h often meritorious, aud sometimes even zfar/'oi/s* With fuch fentiments Mr. Editor ycu m-aygucfx that I do not care one fig who calls me Innovate, indeed, in oider to deprive chattering fools of ihc'u favor* ite ntch-name> I will at once cfan'ftcn my* fdf1* Innovator,'* fotbat they will bi- driven to their fhlftd to find out fomeothet culling appellation. Having now made up my mind boldly to fct fcandal at de» fiance, I can proceed Mr, Editor with to'erable compofnreto tell you of a Tt'rT great misfortune under wh^ch this court* try labours, and to p«»frit cut a tlU-igi which I confider would prove a mollet- fccjtual remedy and confequenrly t"f- dounA to the Honor, advantage and comfort of the Province, The Roads Mr. Editor, the Rtfadl of Upper Canada are ;in abomination-* There i» no civilized country upon earth where the roads ah: fo bad. MH\ BS^K none where the facilities of making them Cond. are more, if fn abundant. Huw is then this* incongroity to be accotintcj for ? The evil is fn the u f.P.em.%> Itj however a difeafc which is very fufceptf, ble of cure, and «h^ remedy is foUly ,'| the wilt fifth People If it be the Pt(l. pit•'/ nu'tll t " have good Reads, nothinf is eafiei to be d me, and that without ta- kieg any additional bnttttefl upon them- fetvea ; fn far from it that were they to adoot the method I am about to propufe they would find i heir preftnt heavy bur- den" confiderab'y lightened, a<d not on¬ ly fo but they would fpeedily fin:l a vail influx of Population and Capiial, which diffufe life and fpirjt through the whoa Province, and bring to us the " feUchiei of a profpernus Peoph.*' My pi "i is this, Let a Bill be brought into Parliament fpr taxing the Lands that have been !<$. cated five years, now remaining tinfct- Med, at least six pence per. acre per* art' num%for the purpofe of afftsting to make and repair Public Roads and Bridges* and let this be tnperpetuo the law of the Prov¬ ince. It is probable fuch a Bill would be totally rejected by the Legifiative Council, but there are expedients to be found form^fcir^ it received even there. Let the people unanimoufly required! their Reprefcntatives in Parliament to fnpport fuch a Bill, and until it had pa£ fed both Houfee, fteadfaltly to pcrfiwete in refufing to entertain any money Bill whatever. This would infure the pad- injr of the Bill. Let us now Mr. Edi¬ tor examine intotheconfequencejof fuch a meafure. It is well known that under exifting circumflances this province can never be¬ come fettled. Either through ignor-. ance at home, or mifmanapement herea the Lands have been fo injtidicionflydit pofed of, as to raife an infup r-ble bar¬ rier to every kind of imorovemenr, and unlefs a change be effccTted the country will never be worth a Groat. Such e tax as I have propofed would compel the rapaci-)U5 holders of the unfettlcd land*, either to procure fettiers for them immediately, or fell them on for term* to fuch as would fettle upon thrm them* felves. How abfurd, and how nnjutt 't is, that individuals (hould hold thonlaiult and tome ten ft of thoufand3 of VcfCi W the expectation that in procefs of time they will rife in value from the fcMle- ments of poor iudurtn'ons Farmers in their vicfniiy, and who fha?1 mofl op- preffively have been coinpc fed to mtkc and keep in repair, Roads a»H Bi'fcfe^ through their faid lands, the thing fc moullrously unjuit, and calls mail fcw 61