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f > ^C^tifr** /i * J. if *v * t*L 5 -*, ^ >-* m. irs-Ss2Ks$ftfei 'fe^-yga^-wfty^--:.^^,-! -:%. * 1 >-. new iUut IS, '& , _' Yilamc HI. Xo.'JS -Whole So. ijwJ '-I1 I K ACTON, ONT., THURSDAY, JANUARY lO, 1878. {.91.00 per annum In Advance -.'.-$ rpHEi-icjrox | _^ :pbbe press! Is Pubjtished EVERY TH J3 DAY MORNING,! i AT TUT. i I Free Press- Building, C .* Next to the Vast Of.ice. i (TOX BAKERYi A RD OF THAHKS No more *ED liser&U |< ?X ill (o ild.T. eu_ine Ihicde. jitaour/ c*im.e* *try .*m>n. kTr.';---07>* do! *r .1 y.ar. strlot'y til dviuiro. If not y.J t--tartiXUreoiuout OS - .vnoJoihu-.-ui.lal^'.rwIu'bo clmrso .. o " .'tiradoil^-its.: jaiJ liN l!:t' fJ of tj;e -.Tar- -Si:urJ oop<< t^iV-f cms. -- ^aj^PT will Ix1 sea", to !\iy pen " ; Jtsau orrc year mijvikl, 1 ts Ipe- Iiho : rir>l invo.n'.eB. ami two cms frer ilne for each sansequetn S-.iNorthru -1*-tsriOr: aavontsiements of eiirhlio-.es ami ! ca-pr, $1 for ttiree la>crii:;. liu-ii:t'> - J-C.m'.s; lif <.iUt lincsj fcini uuder. jlper 1 A. literal discount allow M on ;vK?r tts^-rao.rSts tnson^U for ex:*'lKie:l v-orlo Is. A.lvert'.SetEOUiK without sv-er'nil insiriu-- ucim Inserted till :orl>U. an! ohur^cj seeor\iiTil>-. Any Special IToti'oo, Ihp oN-.t! ofirlilch ' U to promolo lite vuv.ni'.iuy Vovu-lU of liny lna'.vatau! or c >;u;--*ay. :<>'" c->:-,sis;- o.-fri :: JulverM.-enleO'.I- Trartstin; nover.'. *i-m- i' henonl?rp(t Ai'i-ii-ivei nn.!<?.-i .-.aartirly. Nolic.-s of !5:r-ll--s : rv^;^> :aser:i-:l fro.-. MOOHK -t T V. \r^-.r, . is. W. liALiK.v'.:1!. M-iu^c-.-r. - i-:.l;: At tnis season I tuko much pious" uriviir-t-lnnYnig my numoi-ous cus' totaersj" for the liberal piUronngo tho.J* havo bestowoil on , me during _tho past yoar, and WQuki respect- 1 mt nnoTDtn. AVI10 wm it pinkoil nj> all the cliipB, And strewed tlio floor witlt ntriitga ami whips, Ami iii thu waalitub sailed his ships? MyJBrotlicr. "Who. was it ate the currant jell, And throw the kitten in the well, And Hindu me.pruiiiisn.Uot to toll! My Brother. Wlio was it taught mc how to aUnto, And ?:\t nio on tlio ico- to wni.t, Wliile ho M out liomc with C'cuisin Knto? "; . ily Brother. j Who was it, when lie older j;rew, , ,. T 1- -* .* \- - p * l i To tops ami inarblca bade adieu, fully solicit a coatiauince ^ the , A^u'noa.lmtcouUnptk-am.t^l. ? same- I' ' ' MV'Brother. tO tH- P." :iii ace .v.-!;r. Customers can always roly on re- oeiviil.g tho best qunlity it ' BREAD, BUNS, BISCUITS -CAKES, CONFECTIONERY >o credit [riven except to prompi paying .monthly customers. K. T. GALLOWAY. Aet.in,'Jan. T^ 1>TS. ... ~ 1 Who does a tiny inon^taehe wear, 1 And oiJs and colors it with caro, And in the middle parts his hair? ~ My Urother. Who is it tumbles'up my curls. And buys me bracelets, rings and pearls. And tlirts with all tho pretty girls? My Brother. And talks to me about hie elothes, And all my little secrets knows, .And teases ihe about my beaux? My Brother. Who is it that I love, the heat, Ui all the boys in east or west, Although he is a perfect pest? Mv Iirotber. . : iV.-:uv] \Y. - a. laivsY,; Tti. si U- ^ TO' T- " i*:i \ ^: K,-i-.!< K. an J \rr.ix. 1 ti .: u It. l.:'t t.'.o, Kso, pE" Ur>p L'S . las'. S'* HORKftff. Physi- Jf 1T-_ AC .."I li-iNUlr t."o'.- i. t..vvirti.:u.it** ot V;*l.'ria BCCKSTORE, riaso icsLOCK, Wyn.ih-.ii^? Street, '.;. o: v-::r Xnias Vrus- f-or:i in. i -V.'i.- U_. -tr street. TON. '1 4 1 3 -, T\ |I^X33SOX, Convey- Ufc \'~ tr--:ce IV-IV-I, M-rtc-s-.-s. f .rr-i i::y,rr.:ii .-.!y c..rr. >-:ly adt-o:: r^--v_>t'-v term*. Mon-jv to L> '.-:. 00 *I.r:_-.2- si.ctiritr-. vAi:-i~ Giiiso^ ilJ-i-. Att-or.. CAUDS, P.OUS;MARKS ie T.H3 Aaauals. J. 3. S ITUESOOi, Attorney- a':--.'* . Si..ciii': ir. <-l_i:ii'.-.-y, :a!.:i a\x\ Oii.iica trs iii; ,i&: IXGS. CO; rp \\^ CJO?2, u P-oritcial tand Surveyor and | Civil Ensirteer, Guelp-h. 1 Cri?.-a -y-riL.i.': prorar:'.;. n::e:i.l-- i t-^. 1 W\l. L11DLATT. Barrister. \ .-:.,-.- ,:-l..vr S l:.-.:..r :r. XMAS AH IJrllis'n-e/orkaian A Workwoman, , Sun i iv ^1 ig liinc, Sunaay at Home Leisure H">ur, ->uiver, Chatterbox, ic. Ac. ; . K. W.rElKlE. '. OrJer's-may b-.* left rit tbis orlic*-"*- SADDLERY, _A.ca:o3sr_ FOR LIFE 01. death: Cvi'.i'.luthi! ./rum last ift't7e. "I \lo Slot- want ypur bl^od on .uiy Ifuiids, and although out livu.s mny 00 .short for this woild, you'll have, no inoto 111111 to niu'ku yon ! die like cowards.' Uehjive like men, obey brders, utid everytliihg will be done to escape with Our lives. But mark mo men; the trrst one of ye that ttttotu]its to break into the spirio room I'll bruin with this uxe ; and you know I menu what Isay." The two parties stood glaring ut each other, when the captain ap peal i-d on deik, alarmed by tlis lieice tout's of the unite's voice. He .was descexidiiig the_ ladder leading to the niaiu deck, when the. Suit- d'l-hihil gave a sndded luivli ; the old titan luM'hiri foothold, gras-jifd tit the empty air, and fell heavily, Lis. he-.id coming in contact with lVJV .S id.lit --------' 1 all eye holt. your Harness at the Ontario! Ingram and; Jones, raised liim iv, wiiere you get the worth; te:;Ji-ilv in their anus, and. 'bore asjsomo mimic jspruy flow over the low guHWulo of the "bout. -^ j The atiiiill portion of bread, tho hiero thimbleful of water, were served out with an impartial lmtui by tho mate, mid, weary w.i -h watching, tho men sought to forget tlieir troubles by indulging' ill slumber. Three days und nights wore steadily by,: bringing with thorn no relief iroiu the dangers that ugdin enveloped tho shipwrecked eruw. No sail appeared on tho horiion \o cheer their achiug eyes, no welcome appearance of land to revive, their con'rr.go. "** ',' At noon ot the thiid day Mr. JiHjratn served out ~thc lilnt morsel of bread and tho reiuaining supply of water, which was eagerly seized itlioii by tho Kttffcriiig and hulf famished seamen. The mate, with a courage and lirmness almost superhuman, smothered tho fearful pangs gnaw ing at his vitals, and resolutely put away a portion with the amount already saved. Miss Lo Moyne suffered less than the rest of the boat's crew, owing probably to the fact of ' her remaining perfectly still. Her color had fled, her cheeks were win and hereyes sunken, but her h'.tle lithe frame contained a considerable amount of vitality. Tho niato watched oyer her with jealous care, and during tho night found an opportunity j to moisten her lips with water. She at ' tirfat' rt'fuHtal to accept the precious liquid, but tho mate insisted, and finally prevailed upon her to eat a bit of dracker. ... -~. On the fourth morning the sun rose upou a clojdless sky. Not a breath of air ruflled the glassy sur- fiico ofr'thS bay, and; the bright blue wutt'rs sparkled and hboue before the tantalizing eyes of. the seamen. They could no, longer forget their misery in sleep. 1 Their tongues were swollen und parched, they could not swallow, and if they closed their eyea, they were haunt ed by visions of fountains, and clear, trunning streams iof pure .crystal' water. ' -The day wore on, the Bun beat down upou them with remorseless fury, increasing their agony and suffering. One poor . fellow, his " Aro yo caunibalH, men, that ye would prey ono upon another 1" " No ; but we aro desperate we aro dying I" | There were ninp persons in the boat, and eight white buttons and ono black woi-e^deposited under a hat n'uxl thoroughly mixed. Each inan was to draw, and whoever becamVtho possessor of the black button was to be the victim for tho remainder to prey upon. "I'll tuko a. chance with von, men; but understand, I'll have nothing to do with the feast if I run freo ;" und tho mute, for the hundredth time, cast his eyes around the horizon with . the tame old result. } One by one tho men drew forth the buftous, until but two were left, one of which was the fatal _ .black ballot. The chances of life and death lay between Jiluucho Le Moyne and her protector. With a firm hand, the mate drew forth a button it was white. ":" That is for yon, .-Miss Le I Moyne; and menj I have drawn the'black button !" "' Tho crew gazed ;at each other for' a moment, uncertain how to pro ceed. They ilid not caro to tu-ru their knives upon, a man whom they admired iu ! spite of them selves. . "Listen to nin, men ! My lifo is forfeited, if you require it, and my life-Wood shall flow for the good of all.; but life is sweet, and all I ask is a .chance for itiy life. It is nearly sundown ; if nothing turns the stales itf our falvor by sunrise, you can do with me as you will." .The ripi-ieve was granted,, and once mOre ;a dead Isileiic-! refined over tfuV'bo-it. Mis had bunk.into a ;-j and was Hcatcel}' conscious. The sun sat in a low bank of clouds, upon which the mate had fastened Lis eyes with a deep long- ieg gaze, ; His dark" orbs lit up with u wistful lii'hi as the cloud increased, -spreading rapidly over the heavens. Darker'and darker grew the night; the rumble of thunder struck upon the mate's ear with a sweet cadence, Mnd soon the natter of ruin aroused the seunen. ' Dow rushed the rain, and, with terrible eagerness, the sailors,drauk Miss n:.- m"vi . i' -e!e.- jk- swoon, How Her lllind Kcffati Wnnder. to Mr. arid Mrs. Thomas Murphy lived-on a farm. They were Hurowd and thrifty, and had the reputation of being "close." Finally, Mrs. Murphy sickened, and was about to die. Finding herself nearing the end, she expressed a desire to put things in older before she expired,' and Tom prepared to listen. ."Tom," Haiti Mis. Murphy, " there's Mrs. Smith up nt the cross-roads, she owes me Si.75 for butter ; see ye get it." " Then, there's Mrs. Jones down at tho creek. Sho.owes ine 1.50 for chickens." , "Ah, look at that, now, for a moind !" said Tom, udniiringly. ;< She forgets nothing." " And Mrs. Brown in the vil lage," ' continued Mrs. Murphy. " She owes me 2.50 for milk." " D'ye hear that 1 Sinsible to the last, ainsible to the last 1" said Ton.. " Go on, my dear." " And "' '. *i "Yis." ; ' "And'Mrs. Xtoberts, at^the gro cery. I owe her " " 'Ah, poor dear ! poor dear !" broke in Tom hastily. , " How her moind does be wandering ! Shure we've allowed her to talk too much entirely, so we have.'" Patrick's Poor Paintinjf. yoLir money. sie-t o- a\r :-r.:: ffi '. r> - on l-r ::: - rr.i."->-il-an I Mr !..ii ^ M:U.ui ^flU-v' .did lot of,NEW COLLARS , him Co tin*cabin ; but rife lirjd fled ; j slowly sank to. the depths below. - , . . , in copious di-a>igh:ta of the precious brain tortured by fantastic oeluston, ! ljii(li Tl w^ vafn,H\iei . a jumped overboard:in a frenzyj d I , mn\oa 0f their li pains and H )Z\JLX L. 1>KAKE, IVIB l\CE .VCF-.VXi Ace^for ;Cs M -rcviovV- .in t^ at-rl- \\\ i)4~; ness: -n-trvc-:*-! to ois rare m 1 ' rilthf-'.:v a'.-'.rf; bji to. <'::'o-e at !' Booic?:ore. U';-,j>h. <.'r-;r.- hy ma jti-'..-ess-J to G j -Id'i or D i->:i- 1'ost Oiln Till receive prom,*' atl<;-lit- the soul of the old sailor had found on ban i. i haven of rest with God, that no . ^j A'.i ptrties tmendinp to ~pur> , storm or gale could dis.turd. ! ih lie tiin.cj-ia-chouiil do ,-o at,once j Much valuable time had been ! l.elore tbe.rus./commences in order |'wast,.j i.lo recore a pot>J set In the sunken eves of the t i K. CKKIX'II. Acton, .'ill. 7..1ST urtAFcrr i'VJT fi EOKGE LEYEXS, riy -- r.nJ E-aroj" !-:jcl PATENTS for I.WEXTI0NS 'J la C 43 t-d i. i& Chile-i .s: P:-u: z :ar-i.nte -d or to caarge -"or pin,-t ;n<:riMi"n-.' Ac-^'Toy in oper- "ailoc t-=a rears. ' HKKHV -.GKI-T. i.ill.wa. l?aii:i'la, M^nnifii Er.;lceeT, s;0.icl;or of Ta taa:sar.l D.-aJ^h.smau. Barber and. Hairdresser, : Si.-e'..r.l liros. A.Jt<n. -Hair s ^ V- Tired Store, Mill itches and i order. z? "W ^ILLIlll WATttiXS I & 1.' lipl 7PL $ eJ daily by express. user M-irrl: I.lce!L-e< A Certlflfalej. liy it.jvii! Al',-oii.tun-nt.) Bi5iiif^^'rp.lva:e aud col-ilclential OSCe dl.Lh-? i'uo. Cauaty Ha'ton. UiUj liltn^villiani, m in i" OLIVER LOZIER, Plasterer, Pij^sterln^ an'I Il-'j-:?'ri-ca-<tlrj :\h* nio.i re i.*onii^If wfifl (Jotie *>fi U 3 - OSSiX IIOrSE. Acton. I _ Clo^e u> trie G- T. Kai.way Station. ; -C^H^nt aceomrjao-tatior) U>t toe travel- }" . TT\OMIXIOX HOTEL. Acton,, -----1 J Kot/ert ' Agnc-w, i'roj.rieior.l his tiovS- Hotel U Mt:-1 up 'in lirst-ela^s j *v> wUti ne'" fiarailare. Commercial T-aVeliers tri 1 Snl KO">d areommo latlcn j acJcoiiimolloo-i Sample l.ooin*. >r-"<-,!,1' ' aitsntlon pal f to th" wants ot the irav..-.- !ln?puollc, Bar.sappHe-' w-'tn lne be- ' Li^aoraaod Cigar*. Gool biab.l^ij ..... .atttntiv HofiUers. ' , 2 ti d \HG 1*9. WM. HE3ISTRLET, .Lricensed Auctioneer ?For the Counties of Wellington and *?inl- j ^tin.' urdefs lift at the kbee P?.f-p;- I Otace, AcUin, or at mv rwWcnce-, in | "*oflc;rwl, will be promptly atieutloo rot "Serms reasonable. .1 Jp TaOLLOFE CHAPMAN. Practical: BpokTsinder. All Descriptions'. oT Rindius Xeatlv Erecuted.' The'" undersigned :bej;3 leave to inform the people of Acton and sur rounding neighborhood that he has procured a magnificent HEARSE. ; And is prepared to attend and con- ; duct Funerals on the shortest notice : and most moderate terms. CctilxU, Cvjjins, Burial BobiSr^ And al! kinds of Funeral Furnish ings kepi in stock, and supplied on the shortest notice.^ Hat B.mds and Gloves supplied when required. ; JOH-" Acton,Feb. 10, 1S77. SI'lilOHT. 'ict'jaLt li.j'Ju of 'ill J: <)fb:r. "nidi liiiib.X') EulinK Promptly A.ttended\to. o^r: ' uy lirnt-cV.Ks .Pusos an'1 ij;;oaS.s cV-eaper of 1'AN- nOL K. UK.ATTY, U'asiiing. to i, New Jersey, than any other manufacturer in the United .States- Why? Because ho sells only for cash, takes-no risks and has no book accounts. Every instru ment is fully warranted for six years as strictly first claes^nd are sent on Irom 5 to 15 days' test trial. the movements of the ship weie ihe !Si(infijrbiit'd would ^oon sink. She had two boats, which were in -good condition, and a shout of joy burst from the lips of the men as they saw them safely launched alo'n'gside. By Ingram's direction, Mr. Jones took charge of one boat, with his portion of the ship's company, while he directed the movements of the Other. Miss!.' Le Moyne, the ownei'sdauuhter, accompanied him, and.with a wave of his hand the brave seaman directed the boat's crews to shove off. It-sing on the crest of a huge sea, the boats were rapidly swept to leeward, and the waterlogged ship, covered - with": spiQiy, - and plunging bows under, was Boon lost to view. As near as possible the two boats remained in company, and with anxious eyes, the .seamen gazed about the horizon as the sun slow ly disappeared from sight. Ingram's heart ached as ho gazed upon the slight form of the lady, passenger, who had been reared in the lap of luxury, and a . shade of sorrow 'darkened his countenance as he thought of the long days arid nights tlutt must intervene before land could be sighted. Enveloped in a .long coat, to shield her from the blirding spray, she crouched by his cide, pale and silent. -"The" boats rode the seas with the buoyancy of ducks, ship ping but little water as they float ed on. But a limited supply of provi sions and water had been laid in, for fear of overloading the boats, and all hands were at once placed upon short allowance. Mi'. Ingram bad ink :ii the pivcatuiotiK to. stow tin; .supplies in the stern sheets, where he could keep an eye upon them ; and for fear the pangs of hunger and thirst might asGailf the young lady, the bruve fellow man aged to reserve a portion of his share, unknown to anyone. The night passed slowly by, and with the fiisl gray streaks of dawn a wolfish glare was perceptible as they gazi'd'"at,one another. Every thing that could be chewed had ibeen disposed of, even to the agony way forgotten, and once more men thev wsere themsclvee. ', The mute, with v. jruisp of iron, clutched the tiller, but the boat was drifting at will. Grim and silent hu 6at, liko .a guardian angel "Watching o'er the welfare of Blanche Le Moyne. ' How is this to end i" mutter ed ono of the men. . " My brain is on fire a raging furnace is within Ail'through the night the rain fell, and; with it came a moderate breeze, The boat drifted before it, rising and falling gently oil the ocean swell; but everything wiis unheeded; the men slept, and even Blanche :aiid tint mate were buried in slumber. They were aroused by the dancing rays of the san stream ing iii to! their eye's, and a loud, cheery hail. j , There; but; a short distance to windward, was a large passenger steamer,; lowering a boat. The rail me. Some must stiller thut others wtH lined with passengers, gizing may live. .Shipmates shall we 1 down Upon the poor unfortunates, draw lots." | They i were saA'ed ; ithe mate's " Not yet, not yet," replied one ; Hfo waHitruly reprieved, and tears " there is olc hero who muut soon die, who'is weaker than us, and it will be no sin to anticipate death foe, a few hours. Besides, we hive exhausted our strength for the. common good. Sim has done noth ing, her life is useless, she is a dead weight upon our hands. Let tho women die lirst, I say." "Let tho woman die J" echoed the crew, as they started simul taneously to" their feet, at the sanie time drawing their sheath-knives. The mate, exhausted by lojig watching, anxiety, and weak from hunger., had sunk into an uneasy doze, from which he was aroused by the rocking of the b nit, as the " Ha !" cried tho coiirt as Patrick 'Murphy's bead showed itself out side the corridor door. " That's me I'm here!" answer ed Patrick. . .c "Mr, Murphy,"Mliere's a com plaint h 'le against yon." "Isn't it against me brother John V "No; sir; it reads Tatrick Murphy, with a big P on the Pat rick. You are the man, and now what do you say to the charge of drunkenness V " I say that drukennesa^is a bad flung, sir. A Success und a Failure. A capital story is told of the famous .Scotch preacher, 'Dr. Gutl ".Philadelphia dentist's sign. "You never miss the toothache till" tlie root comes out." tnost always ish to to the "So it is, ami you may und iWsf=fe^0Uy> boss, ' clare never done men struggled to theh'feeK .- Looking Up, he found himself confronted by "the , half-frantic sa'lors. Their eyes glowed with .the light 'ofinsanity, their tongues -protruded from their shrunken lips, -which were drawn tightly over their gleaming teeth, jliach sheath- knife was raised aloft with a threat ening air, but Ingram 'shrank not, i although taken by surprise. ' What would you do men 1 In God's name, what do you mean V gasped the mate. " The worn m in liyi'n lerseV- lla'ry by Irtion Qt- >re'st-'> Ivass *>Jncs and to; but ,'g boti , Jersey ])! fi'Orders lefht the Fitix! J"." ' Office will receive prompt attention. P----------------j-------------------------------:------------- ---------------- | ORIi PACKING HOUSE. j , The subset-ibcr bus always on hand n'd kind* of frtsh Meat, .Sausaf-'t.i and : Poultry, cWij. " j CHAS. CA.MF.KO>'. A.Uib.. Dec. 12th JoJ7.' " '-'3;.:Jm. I money refundrii and freight paid I ^0 ,nen Wp/rB giizing eagerly about "'""' '" them, and searching the horizon for gome K'gns of a sail. Soon it became apparent to them that dur ing the night they had parted cofnpany with the otlir boat, which was nowhere to be seen. The fiim rone ii^uncloiukul splen dor.,- the waters but slowly agitated from the late ugle, shone-jind spar kled iu the brilliant rays,'.reflecting back ull the colors of thy?-rainbow, both ways by him if they are usatis- factory. Send for Illustrated An- vERTisJsR (Catalogue Edition) and r d testimonials from bis patrons, ; me or whom you may know. Ad- klrees D iNIi-.L F. BEATTY,: IVasb - ngton, New Jersey. J 1 OK IKISTIXofaWkiinl ally ail promptly-executed at tho FP.jni-PUESS OFFICE, Xcxt Did'ost Ofllce Mill HlrCftL stood in! his dark eyes as they lifted him over the gunway. The steamer-reached. Liverpool, when tho siifety of the scc'outlfmate'a boat was ascertained. - Blanche reached her Southern home in safety, when she related the story of her sufferings to thu wondering and sympathizing ears of her parents aiid friends. The old gentl.-mad wiped tho tears from his iiycs'iis ho listened to his only, dan "liter's account of Ingram's bravery,'to whom' she owed her life. ! Soon after, the mate received a letter in his humble home by the seashore, containing a draft for ten thousand dollars; and offering a master's interest in tho finest, ship owned by Le Moyne ifc Co., of New Orleans. Bad on the Judge. An individual, possessing uhmis- takable evidence off African ex traction, was arraigned for larcency. The Judge, as of tight, was digni fied, but said, with severe; presence, ' are yon guilty or not I' ; 4 Sara' . ._ ! ' ' Did/ you steal these.1 clothes?' rie, which shows that the-siime ex- 0 A :>io".tn!>. """'derer, in conse- pedient may sometimes carrv a pop- V nV- oj ins poor." health, wants filar audience by Btorui,!' und at hf3 ^^^,oh delayed, other times excite shouts!of deris ive latlglitt-r. Dr. Gutiuie w;as once replying to Dr. Ritchie, an eloquent speaker, who in, a public meeting had attacked the ministi-is of the Established Church, us idle and ItiJturioiiS'Uie'n, clothing llieni- selves in soft raiment, and faring sumptuously every day, Guthrie saw his opportunity, und made the most of it. He L'ad walked Jhto town in heavy boots, over aimiiddy road, and boots'and irousers were spattered with mud. Advancing to the front of the plat form, he held tip one foot] and said with a comical tone, "Dr. Ptitchie calls iisia set of dandies. Is that the foot of a dandy 1" The effect was irresist- able.- Tdie audience weo in convulsions' oC/laughter, and he had gained them before beginning his speech. Dr. Ritchie marked the effect; and attempted a similar stroke on an other occasion. His party had been charged with showing "the cloven foot." Extending : a foot, dressed in the height of the fashion, with silk . stocking and dress shoe, he asked, triumphantly, ""Do you call that a cloven foot J'1' ' A'sbrewd. mechanic.in! the gal lery called out, '* Tak'-affi the shoe, sir, and we'll see." The! shout of laughter that followed spoiled his speech. ' ! ULU./ lie rei/ated. At. Too Kuicn Trust. would 'drink-her blood," was the reply. Drink her blood, you cowardly- dogs !!'\Yould you attack, a defense-, less woman' -Stand back, or I'il brain the- first one of you that offers to advance a step J" and un shipping thoheavy oaken tiller, he stood on the defensive. The men hesitated, wavered, and fell back. A low, hollow murmur was hoard for a .moment, thm one of the sailors turned toward the mate, 'j -'.' You refuse to allow the woman to bo sacrificed. So; be' it; but death stares us in the face; we must 'do something;! or nil will perish. We have resolved todraiv lots for life or death, and kho wom^n must, take her.chance with -the reflt." it is only a Sunday or two ago, at u country church iu :-------Val- lov, not a hundred miles frojui. huro that it happened. The congrega tion that morning was unusually large. D.eacon j Spinalis and his four daughters Were in the front md we i pew, and old Mrs. Mumbluchin, who has just gotj back from a trip to Europe, was there, too, singing away, and sighing during the pray- e.is as if her heart would break. The minister chose " Faith" as the subject of'his discourse, and in the course of his refnarka dwxdt "with out. What is your plea V "The same a lawyer would an swer, sir." " You plead not guilty, and now we'll have the proofs pro and con. Have you any witnesses!" " Yes, sir. I wish to:have my- sslf'sworn." L "You can make your statement; if jou desire. Begin at the begin-" niug ajid tell a straight.story." " Well, sir," began Patrick as he drew in a deep breath. ^'1 was born in 1832 on a side hill about fourteen miles fiom " " What has that to do with how you gob drunk in 1878 t" interrupt ed the court./ ii" It's the bsginning, your Honor." " Well, begin with yesterday morning, then with your first glass." " My first glass was a cup of cofjee, sir." " And your second V ." Was a glass of caliiphor to ease aiy aching tooth." ".Patrick, I can't waste time over your caso. Let me tell you a little story with a paint brush in it," , " Don" give me any dime noiiej yarns, Judge." " One fine day in the month of January, 1S7S," began tho court, " a gputlem.tn uam*>d Patrick Mur phy thought; to add to the elegance. of his houitj-'by painting the parlor- a sky-blm?, the kitchen a sky-red, and the two bed-rooms pea-green shaded down with yellow and picked iu with lead color and putty. He bought a quart hf kerosene oil, some dry paiuts, borrowed a white wash brush, f and after he had put in half a day's work be hardly ___ knew Lis own house, nor'his wife., 1 . . nor his babies, nor his cat, nor his] ,. ipoor old mother. There was paiut till they^couldn t rest. Some had one blue eye and one red one; others \Vare ultramarine no&os ami chromo-yellow oye-b-ows, and! t,])e babies' hair exhibited seven iJiff.ir- ent and beautiful shades'of color. Patrick felt like an old master, his ' This man says you did.' - ' He ain't nothin' but white trash.' I 'And what are you V j ' Me 1 Why don't you know roe ? I rid with you in' the _percession. I helped to lead you home! when you got tired' that night. Duu't yer 'member me now'T There was die ' suddenest' nol pros, in that darkfiy's lease that judicial annals afford an example of. So much for tho idvaatages of good society. A Match Broken Off by an Accident. fervour upon the| beaut3T and power of that trait, as exemplified in tho Why is the cribbnge the prosperous of.vegetables'? It ; gets a head in the world. ," Drop the line if you v. see me," as the fish said angler. Gen. Sherman gets $18,000 a. year, besides the blessed prjvile'O of kissing the. git tp. It is very sweet to be a warrior. '.A writer in. the British (luwUrhj Bays there are at [iresent only-17,- 000 Quakers in England and Wales, while in 1700 they numbered' 00,- 000. . The Philadelphia baby show broke up in a liand-tjo-hand fight by the mothers over the prizes. The police-cleared the. hall of ex-' hibits aiid spectatora,_ . ' The United States wheat crop of tils year exceed* that of any previotiB year byabout 5"0,00(>,000 bushels. The cOrn, dats, and potato crops are also unusually' large. A very ignorant person being complimented on hia good sense in presence of a clever lady " I!don'fc wonder,'.' said she, " at his possess ing a large stock of good sense never spends auv."' - i. j - i. There is a proverb if yon look any wild animal steadily in the- i eye it will make it quail. Sports men in search of birds of that kind should cut this out and paste it in their hats..' He was carving at dinner, and thought, .he inust talk . to the testhetical looking. angel on his right, "How do \;ou like Beeth oven 1" said he - at a venture. " Well cooked," said she, interest ed in the work in. hand. The famous Greek scholar, Per son, wrote -the follbwiag epitaph on a Fellow- of his .own College : Here lies a Doctor of Divinity, Who was a Fellew, too, of Trinity. He knew, as mtich about Divinity As other Fellows do of Trinity. Darwin says' that animals have no religious sense; but he probably - never observed the calm, reflective manner in which a chicken will stand on one leg and look up to heaven after squeezing through, a bole in the fence into a strawberry , bed next door. ' r_ " The sentence of. the<k>urfc .is," said Judge Porter, a popular Irish magistrate, to a notorious drunk ard, " that you be confined in jail for the longest period -tho law allows ; and IUippe you will spend - the time in cut-sing whiskey." " I will, sir, and. Porter, too." ' Judge (to prisoner, who has just escaped conviction by the skin of his teeth) " Ybu-may gd,'air. . But thougli, justice absolves you, mor ality condemns "you." v; Prisoner " Thank you.* . I always had. a - better opinion of justice than?.of-j morality." '*'- " " What'is jyonr chief consolation, in life?" asked a pastor of a young ;- " if"'.: 9: " I' '} Hi The Jersey City Jow'nal says a combal affair ocenrred in Newark, Thursday night, which promises to have a serious result. Mr. Hois- felder, who is,, or was, engaged to Miss Schellbroener, both Gernwns, was escorting the young, lady who was so act as a bridesmaid on the occasion, to a wedding. ;They were late, and took a; short cut to the church along .the canal tbwpath. - On tbe way they had a lovers'1 qtiarrel, and the damsel says Heis- felder insulted her. She sbeprfcd [lady in his Bible class. "The young over from Ui side, but sheered too lady blushed anil hesitated, but,.on far, and tumbled head-over-heels J the question being repeated,' the-in- into tbe canal. The young man -genious niaiilon said: " I don'tiik went 'immediately after her, and j to tell yoii his name," but T bave-n'o with much difficulty jiuuled-'her -objection to_ tell you whore -he one hundred and eight-five pounds i lives." of avoirdupois and her Kvet brides- [ A" Quaker h>^{ "Viarried^for maids clothes to dry and But. his wife a nlemb^r *f tho uh h her wrath was not cooled, though f(,f E ];inj W.J asked, after-the' her body was, and she went home it* em / alone, and now says that she will not marry Ehiil at all. j This may be-"entitled a comedy of errors on i thd tow path: ! business Playing with wife- felt like the old boy, and J lie the other !moon1 house studied like a Cliineserpig pen. Well-------" " - j lice. ' . j '.' -: "A hrippy sot of men --Soldiere. in transport. . | When is an egg not oval ? When you turn it round/ i j Strange behavior r A vessel " bugging " the-coast. 4 Why is every honeymoon, like Became it has a man -in it, - - ' i - I^othing is so Citalj to the ro timnce of a kiss as to; have your girl sneeze at the very climax of J osculation. faithful flock gathered before'hiui. " I would, iny flear brethren," he said, "that, all congregation:-; eeei-y- where could take exaaiplo of vhat sweet;i-iiiri.t of ti'tist which pervades sp uuiversally amoiig us.". ;At 'this 'leinark tho village grocer, wi.t.h whom nearly every ) fauiily in 'eliureh had an ac-jouuc that couldn't b.ijcollected, rose up,' evidently in high dudgeon, seized his hat,, and indignantly, left .ihe. sun'gttiary.. \" ' , And do you blame me foi; get ting drunk J" called out the- prison er. " Patrick, the smell of that' paint drove the family out of thfl house, "If it wasn't for bop a the heart .killed the cat, upset the cook stove would break," the old|- lady said and stopped the clock. It has gotpyhen she buried her seventh husl to be scraped off." J band. ! ?: " An .If ,-VO" Ke"f ml"?' ,ny> " A' newspaper, deling ai de- poor wife 11 have to do it ? j monstration, sfe- ted that, "The "The same, Patrick, Thai's the J pli^sion ;,lB, vorv | fi^, fei g reason -yot, can go. Go home and lna;l,.] (JV0 |h5,,8 Ulg<{ - uvs^'la scn.pi; ucqnamtauee with doors and j tll uver 6f tUe itu^^Ir. P#rv," bafio-boards, and tho next time you ' crremony, by the clergyman; for his fee, .which be said was a crown.. Thej'Quaker, astonished at the de mand, said if he could be shown any text in the Scripture which proved the fee was a crown, he would -give- it, upon --which th0 clergyman" turned to :the twelfth chapter of>Proverbs, verse fourth, where it said, " A virtuous woman is a crown - to her husband." '/ -Thou' art rightj" replied the Quaker, " in the assertion; Solo mon was a wise man. Here is thy money, which thou hast well aiid truly earned." ! London Short-hand Writers. The Gurney family have, iu their service about a dozen short-hand Ud * ,--I want to paint don'o use kerosene.1' " What then ?" . " Sweet oil, of course." " I'll do it, sir good Uy." -^ .<t 1m* When Davt.^. cii!\<jd' npnn the "trees of 'the' fi.old o clap-their hands," be must haye'iad reference to p.ihn trees. : A hotel keep"!' dsscriiied a mosquito-as " a customer who tri.es Why is Queen Victoria's health like an intemperate nmni. -Because J to get inside.' the bar and take a nip it is o'ten dr.nnk. ' without paying for it." reportors, and employ beginners^ '."or assistants: to copy their shoct-i hand notes into; long-hand. . They are engageil during the sessions: of Parliament in. taking down notes of testimony and pleas before the various parji-imentary committees. The Gnrneys regularly receive! from the Government ^aytin proportion to tife work done, their gross re ceipts " being from SoOQ^OOO ";-to "700,000" nor imnmu. "" 06 this, .from 5-30,000 ta" $190,000 5s net [profit. If to this -.ve add tho-cost. I o.f reporting the fle!>:;FFs, boviuf by the Iiondon newsp;anfU'S, anil of l-'-'jK.iiing .cises '.iu ' tl .\ p.-'r.-cs -of L-ivv, itc, \Va cm luir,-l!y es'd.n ttu the total annual earnings of short- band writtii-s inLondon at le tlia j $3,000,000. '7 I